Gambling is a "sin"---specially...when you "lose"! Amen!

 Church etiquette-“eth”!

(practiced-manners for the reverent-spiritual)

 
I ain’t much on faux-fashion or any-materialism, but---sometimes…Just go with the flow!
The rich twin-brothers in our little corner-of-the-world-berg, Art Caresh-eth and Leo Caresh-eth, each do quite well in their business endeavors; Art owns the butcher shop and Leo is a fine tailor and sole proprietor of Fashion-Passion Men’s Emporium!
Art was married to Mary Beth-eth Caresh-eth and Leo’s wife’s name was Lidia-eth Caresh-eth.
Confusing!? Well! The twins suffer a speech impediment, born of heredity; not their fault.
Nobody, well, almost no one made fun of the pair, at least, not to their faces. After all, the town was full of Good churchgoers. Me, included. We all strictly observed Church etiquette-“eth”!
Business was slow for Leo so he and brother, Art, got together, collaborated and came up with a good scheme which would generate some income that the proud boys would split, evenly.
They would run a contest through Art’s butcher shop for anyone who purchased $100 worth of meat, the buyer got a chance to guess: “How many dogs Leo owned?” The winner got a free new custom suit from Leo’s Fashion-Passion! A fine idea to generate funds for the brothers to share!
Chances were, nobody would win because the game was Fixed! The best-laid plans!
Now, personally, I ain’t so much of a gambler, not very Lucky! Can’t seem to ever Win! But---a new Leo-eth Fashion-Passion suit…Well! Yeah! I’ll take a chance! I’m all-in!  Hope-springs!
I sold a few items and begged, a bit, and borrowed some, enough to rustled-up a C-note and guessed 1,013 puppy dogs? And, I Won!---Art had 1,013 “hot-dogs”…in his butcher shop!
I claimed my prize, went to see Leo-the-tailor late on a Saturday afternoon to be fitted. He cut and measured and marked and pinned and looked and trimmed and finally gave his final-okay.
Leo said it would be ready the following Saturday! What!? No!!! Today! I needed it for church!
Well, Leo, who was already angry because I won and no one was supposed to win, carefully hung the fabric on my asymmetrical frame, pinned it “here-and-there”, employed a bit of duct tape and said to move slow and careful and, if I did so, I could wear it to church. Thank you!
Oh! I was so Proud of my very first new suit! Wow! They’d sure-enough be envious of me.
My wife was totally embarrassed and chagrined? She went into church and up to the balcony.
Now, I did have to make some physical accommodations to get the suit to “fit” just right; small price to pay for such fine threads. I had to stuff the right pants leg into my prosthetic lower leg, keep my left knee tight to the right one, reach behind me with my left hand to hold up the waist, bend severely double to take up too longs legs, hold my right arm close to my side as the duct tape was slipping and shrug my shoulders to make the coat fit good. Hey! Not so much to ask!
I waited at the church door for anybody to come in or out; I was afraid to let go of anything!
Finally, the minister came along and held the door for me; he kept his distance. I thanked him.
As I kind-a shuffled-rolled-shifted-summersaulted, tripped and slipped up the aisle to the very front pew (Hey! I am gonna be seen! Today!) where the Queen always sat in her designated private-pew as she gave me a repulsive look I heard a couple in the back of church talking; they had noticed me.
“Oh! That poor-man! Gee! I wonder what happened to him? He’s terribly crippled!” She said.
 I heard her husband reply, with charity, “Yeah! But ain’t that one beautifully tailored suit?”
 

I Appreciate Christian-generosity!---and…fine suits!

 

Amen!