Woe-is-me!?---"Who" to blame...this-time!?

Not “my”-fault!?

 

“Judge! I’m not-guilty! That-cop is absolutely-crazy!”

 

I paused and cleared my-throat---for dramatic-effect!...Well!?

Sure-enough reckon I-learned that bit-of-“law” from Perry Mason!?

 

“Yeah! I’d been drinking---a-“little”…but, I can handle-it! I-

practice---often…and, a-lot! Hell! I didn’t even know I had

an-accident ’til that damn-cop came in the bar and arrested me.

 

“I was 10-miles from the scene by then! Minding my own-

business! And---I don’t know who threw that errant-beer

bottle…maybe that dumb-cop should-a ‘ducked’-better!?

 

“I didn’t hit him, either. He jerked me off that barstool and

my hand just happened to slightly-slap his face---3-times!”

 

I paused, again. Not for effect; I had lost my train-of-thought.

 

Quickly recovering my lawyer-defense stance, I-continued.

 

“Judge! If that car had not been parked there, I would have

never hit it! Why didn’t the owner put it in his garage rather

than leaving it in his driveway 20-feet from the street!?”

 

I smiled at the judge; he seemed particularly “un-impressed”!

 

But?---I got-confidence! And…”I” am never-WRONG!

 

Well!? So?---I’ll be out in another 3-months!...Stupid-Judge!?

Worse than that dumb-cop!? No sense-of-humor or empathy!?

 

The food is so-bad here! Can’t sleep! Scared! I-cry, sometimes!

That big-mean guy two-cells down keeps smiling at me!? Uh! Oh!

 

I think I need to start a “Go-fund-me” account!? Please! Help!

I sure-enough reckon I’ll need a nice-vacation after-this!

 

But---I-learned…Next-time! “Don’t-get-caught!” Ha! Ha!

 

Stupid-Judge! Ignorant-cop! Idiot car-owner! Damn!-’em-all!

 

“Ugh!”

 

Amen!